On choosing.

I'm pretty charismatic.

You might be thinking, what does that even mean?

It means I believe in the presence of God.  In healing.  In the prophetic.  In miracles.  In radical experiences of the Holy when the veil is lifted, and we behold the Glory of the God that I believe is here with us right now.

These are the things I needed to remind myself of... especially lately.  With Jesus standing in the crossfires of Christian Culture wars.  I found myself needing reminders.  Why I work where I work.  Why I choose to mix my faith with my profession.  Why I fight.  Why I believe.  Why I don't walk away...

Because I find Jesus here.  In me.  In you.  In this room.  In that coffee shop.  In the upstairs room of a bar.  On Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights... but also on Monday mornings when the newness of God has once again been washed away with my makeup the night before.  I find Jesus in blog posts dripping with disdain, and blog posts thirsty for hope.  In all of it, I find Jesus...

Whether I agree with everyone who stands beneath the cross of Christ or not, I find Him.  And I cling to Him.  To His love.  To His grace.  To His mercy.  And I let everything else fall away.

Because more than anything, I need to see Jesus in the excavation of it all.  In the stripping away.  In the unveiling.  In the uncertainty of where I'll find Him.  In the certainty that He is there somewhere.  In the small, calculated brush strokes that reveal the smallest of parts... and in the places that reveal grand, sweeping truths.

I needed to remind myself that I'm just digging.  That we are all digging the bones of Christ up... in our own bones.  Finding His flesh mingled with our own.  Discovering His heart intertwined with ours.  And we uncover Him a little bit... and sometimes, we uncover Him a lot.

But the one thing in all of this that I find to be true is that I find Him... And now I only see Him in part, but then I will fully know.

And until then, I will continue to seek after Him.  To find Him.  To cling to Him.  To believe in Him.

To remind myself why I fight.  Why I believe.


Why I won't walk away...