On speaking life

I'm a youth pastor.

Okay, technically, my title is Director of Student Ministry.  But that's a mouth-full.  And it makes me sound pretentious when I introduce myself to my students' friends, or their parents to say, "Hi, I'm Jess!  I'm so-and-so's Director of Student Ministry."

Ew.  I hate sounding pretentious.  Even more than I hate mushrooms.  And I loathe mushrooms.

So, today, in this space, I am a youth pastor.  And my job is sometimes hard-- because adolescence is COMPLICATED.   I have only been removed from teenagerdom for 6 years, and HOLY CUSS WORDS, BATMAN, adolescence is complicated.  My students-- my kids, my babes, my people, etc-- struggle with stuff.

I mean, we all struggle with our stuff, but when you have feelingsX1000, on top of coming into your own, abiding by everyone else's rules and rarely your own, and feeling rarely in control, struggling with stuff becomes the understatement of the century.  And when you have feelingsX1000, holding onto yourself feels just as impossible as climbing that cursed rope in gym class.  It feels like holding up a world that is dead-set on crumbling around you. While everyone else watches, points, and laughs.

I remember that.  Sometimes, I still feel that way.  And since I can't scoop all of them up and hold onto them until they all turn 20 and the world starts to level out again, I shepherd them.  To the best of my ability- with all that I have.  With all that I can hold.  With all that I can't.   With fear.  With joy.  With abandon.  With timidity.  With every ounce of bravery that I have... I shepherd them.

And I take every opportunity to throw my arms around their necks and tell them that they are loved.  To kiss them on the head and remind them that they are wanted.  To bump their fist and remind them that they are seen.  To speak life into their hearts and into their minds.  Because I love them. I want them.  I see them all.  And I believe in the deepest reaches of myself that Jesus loves them, wants them, and sees them.  There are too many things around us that speak worry, doubt, fear, anxiety, and exclusion to who my young people are.  But they are none of those things.  I see them as they truly are:  as beloved.  And I see them right where they are:  as beloved.

Put all the titles on it that you want, my job is to speak life.  To give life.  To see life and call it forth in all of the young people that I shepherd.  Until they see themselves the way that I know Jesus sees them:  as beloved.